Good Sex: My happiness is complete…really?
I don’t know if I wasn’t paying attention…
But suddenly I noticed that I was hearing a lot of these statements in my conversations with women:
“… I’m so happy…I found a man…the sex is good…life is great!”
“Girl, good sex is a prescription for happiness! What is your problem?”
…not firing on all cylinders right now…if I could just find a man to give me some good sex regularly…now dat is happiness…
God knows I’ve never much envied men and when I hear women saying these things, I feel even sorrier for them.
It must be an onerous responsibility for a man to be carrying around a woman’s happiness on the tip of an extension of his body.
An extension that can be controlled by any lifestyle disease such as diabetes or hypertension. Yep…these can seriously affect its capacity to provide that very happiness.
Women, get a grip of yourselves!
Good sex or even great sex is just around the next corner.
All you need is a man with no erectile dysfunction problems. Add to this an open fly. Throw in an open mind and you can teach him all that he needs to know to be rated “good in bed’.
So what’s the real deal here, ladies? You think you can find a man, jump into bed with him a couple of times and your happiness is guaranteed? Really?
Let me tell you how I see this “good sex” thing
I watch women of all ages delegate their happiness to that 6 – 8 inches (if you’re lucky!) of a man’s anatomy. And it’s not even capable of thinking for itself!
It depends largely on external stimulus to activate it. No problem…it seems.
But it appears that a man was not made with enough blood for his brain and his penis at the same time.
When the penis is working it seems that the brain goes into remission. Therefore, it is very likely to respond the same way to any woman who pushes the right buttons.
Then, when it’s your turn, you expect to be rewarded with no less than respect, kindness, understanding and stability. Oh! and happiness.
This approach blinds you to some obvious factors. It sucks you into the never ending vicious circle of good sex = happiness = good sex. And when “happiness” does not happen, you unfairly blame the men.
When you delegate your happiness to another human being, to my mind, you are guilty of a serious lack of emotional and intellectual maturity.
I really must tell you right here and now that I have no expertise or technical competence in these matters…
Except that I have lived past 50 years, I’ve had a few men myself and have held my lap for the tears of many girlfriends.
But I do know, when you are dependent on another human being for your happiness, like a self-fulfilling prophesy, you are likely to end up in the most unhappy of places.
To add insult to the injury, the man is concerned with HIS own happiness and will probably be expecting you to make him happy as well.
Will you recognize happiness if it comes?
Sadly, the majority of you women who are searching for happiness don’t know what it feels, looks or sounds like. Therefore, you do not recognize it even when it is on the bar of soap you bathe with.
No wonder you continue to confuse happiness with the euphoric feeling that is experienced during “good sex”.
So, how can you expect a poor man to satisfy a need that you have not clearly defined?
And how can you expect him to make you happy in the process?
This is just a clear indication of your need for psychiatric evaluation.
I know my girlfriends hate to hear me say that it requires more than “I love you” and “the sex is the bomb!” to start and then sustain a meaningful relationship.
When these two begin to wear off and you seriously examine what’s left, very often only shame keeps you in that place where you find yourselves.
Know who you are…
Women, you talk about wanting men to accept you for who you are and I don’t have a problem with that.
But when I ask you: “who are you?” and “who is this person that you want a man to accept?” you accuse me and the man of “not understanding.”
One of my girlfriend went so far as to tell me that selecting a man and developing one of my training programmes is not the same thing.
She said that the two things require separate approaches and that using one method to achieve both does not make sense.
I’m neither accepting nor rejecting that view but what I will say is this:
When I am clear about what I want in a man and (if it goes beyond dinner, wine and gazing into each other half-drunk eyes) in a relationship, my outcomes are far more satisfying than most of those women I observe.
So on behalf of the men I know, please ladies, just make up your minds if you want a man in his entirety or just the appendage from his body.
The reason is, whether you like it or not, you need to understand that the dynamics and the interactions of the two are different.
Anyone of us can be vulnerable and lonely at any time and yes, short-term, good sex might be your answer. Unfortunately, this is often backed by your need to be the man’s therapist/mother.
But recognize it for what it is and do not expect a you choose under these circumstances to be much more than ahm, well, “good in bed.”
On the other leg, when you know who you are and what makes you happy, even when you have a short-term need for sex, it really is just that.
Ladies, let me remind you and let me emphasize…good sex on its own will not guarantee you happiness.
You need to find and develop yourself, get comfortable with yourself and know what you want from life and then look for it where it is.
If you find it on the tip of a penis, good for you!